Men Are Literally Ape-Like

“He’s just making this post to make up for his slander on wamen. Don’t buy into the lies below people. Ess propaganader!”

Let’s revisit our ol’ friend OCEAN (Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, Neuroticism). These are the five personality traits psychologists use to categorize people. Triggering, I know. Labels. So evil.

According to survey data, men exhibit the first three the most.

Openness: Ooh, let’s try this heroin. Ooh, what’s in this cave? Hope it’s not a bear. Ooh, what’s this? Women’s rights? (*sniffs*) Nope. That’s. Marxism.

Conscientiousness: I’m gonna play it safe. Fuck living on the edge. That’s for queers. I wanna spend the rest of my life looking for the safest route to my destination, not the quickest. (*jerk motion*) Look at me, I’m all organized and my wife lets me drink on Friday’s. It’s sweet.

Extraversion: Oh, hey look. Other humans. Let’s talk to them and give them shit, maybe they’ll reciprocate me with food, sex, and/or resources—or kill me.

Shit, when you look at it that way, you know what men sound like to me? C-c-c-c-c-cucks! God, I love that word. What I love more is the fact that snowflakes hate it. There’s another word they hate? Snowflake.

Ya see. I’m like Lahey from Trailer Park Boys. The snowflakes are my shit rats, Julian. Am I a mysogonist? Wamen hater? Despiser of vagina? Nope. Misandrist? Penis hater? Non-toxic beta male? Nay-ope. I am what’s called a misanthrope, and to many “medical” folk a sociopath. I’d say that’s a bit extreme, but then again that’s what a sociopath would say, right? Point is: I hate you all. Later. 😀

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